We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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