sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
