Redeem this text for a blowjob
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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