yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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