first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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