I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize