You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
