She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
