susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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