dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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