Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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