In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
