I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
