Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
