so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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