My hand turned me down
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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