yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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