my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
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So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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