Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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