Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I want her autograph on my taint
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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