Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
