Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
