Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
