somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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