Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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