Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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