He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
