dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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