she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
