I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
