remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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