I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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