She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
