Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
