Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
