like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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