hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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