Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
