oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize