I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
