I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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