How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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