Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
