"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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