Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
