I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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