Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
