I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
