i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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