I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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