Sponge bath it is.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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