saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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