I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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