I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I will die if light touches me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
