Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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