Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
