I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize