that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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