went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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