You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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