Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
