Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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