i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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