i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
