hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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